Dear E

Mother's Day came and went yesterday without much fanfare. There weren't any special gatherings we had to go to, or presents to open. There wasn't breakfast in bed or flowers. You didn't tell me Happy Mother's Day or paint your hand print on a rock for me to put in the flowerbed. In fact, from an outsider's perspective, it was just another day. Another day where you woke me up with your LOUD, but still so sweet, voice proclaiming, "It's MORNING!!! The SUN is OUT so it is MOOOORRRRNING!!!!" Oh sweet child...I really can't get enough of that at 5:59 AM.

To anyone else it would seem that we had a pretty drab Mother's Day. But they don't know what I know. They don't know that it was just me and you yesterday. They don't know that at the same time that I found myself absolutely exhausted by your energy, that I was also overcome by the joy of being the one you call Mommy. They don't know that each and every day I thank God for choosing me...because it means that I'm the mom to a child that owns my heart, that in the same breath you are someone who I want to live for and would not hesitate to die for. They don't know that when they see your sweet smile, or hear your sweet voice that they are a witness to my heart. They don't know that your kind spirit and zest for life make me spill over with zealous pride. They don't know that when you learn something new I feel like I have learned it all over again. They don't know that when your heart hurts that mine just absolutely shreds to bits of nothing. They don't know that sharing the same air with you makes life exceedingly more complicated but infinitely more rewarding. They don't know that when you smile, laugh, or crinkle your eyes, that my insides come alive. Sweet boy, they just don't know.

And they never will.

I have been given the most amazing gift from God, and I'm the only one on this earth who can claim it. I'm the only one who will ever be able to look at your sweet face and say,

Thank you, Lord, for letting me call him "son," and for letting me be the only one he calls, "mommy." If there were ever a reason to praise you, he is it.

My child, no one will ever know what it's like to be your mommy. But I have the gift of knowing. And that is what made this very quiet, very uneventful Mother's Day, the most amazing gift of all.

And for that, my son, I am all shades of thankful.