Setting the stage: On our way to a bounce house for him to celebrate his birthday with a friend who was also having a birthday. The bounce house is in the same general direction as the place where we got his halloween costume. We had just pulled off the exit when the conversation started:
E: Mommy...are we getting costume?
Me: Not today, Buddy...we're going to a bouncy house for you to play!
E: Will there be costumes there?
Me: No baby...we only wear costumes for halloween...now it's time for your birthday, so we're going to play!
E: My dirfday? I will be shree on my dirfday!
Me: I know! You're such a big boy!
E: After my dirfday will there be costumes?
Me: No...after your dirf...BIRTHday...there will be Christmas!
E: What's Christmas?
Me: Christmas is when we celebrate Jesus' birthday! It will be fun. You will get presents and we'll read stories about Jesus!
E: How old is Jesus going to be?
Me: Ummm....I don't know...but it's going to be fun!
E: What costume will Jesus wear?
Me: Jesus doesn't have a costume...costumes are just for Halloween.
E: Jesus is going to be a bat.
Me: A bat, huh?
E: yeah (nodding head enthusiastically). A bat. And he'll say "tricky-tricky" and we'll give him candy for his dirfday. And, and, and, and, Jesus will be "shree" too.
Me: (unable to figure out how to diffuse the confusion at this point) sounds good to me baby!
And then there are conversations like this one that are just downright exhausting:
Setting the stage: I'm folding laundry. And then the fun began.
E: Mommy, whatcha doin?
Me: folding clothes.
Me: So we'll have clean clothes to wear.
Me: because we like to wear clean clothes.
E: why do we like cwean cwothes?
Me: we just do. (walking into the laundry room)
E: Now whatcha doin?
Me: washing some more clothes for us.
Me: (because I said so!) we just have a lot of laundry
Me: (Oh dear Lord...we just do!) we just do, baby.
E: but why?
Me: (OH MY GOD!) we just wear a lot of clothes.
E: Why we wear a wot of cwothes?
Me: I think Tom and Jerry is on! Want to watch it?
E: Tom and Jerry?! Why is Tom and Jerry on?
Me: come on! I'll turn it on for you!
After turning on the tv, I begin to walk out of the room...
E: whatcha doin mommy?
Me: going to finish laundry.
Me: (because you're driving me crazy!) because you're driving me crazy!
E: I'm dwiving you cwazy?
Me: yes (feeling guilty)
and it continued until bedtime.