Saturday, June 13, 2009

Breaking Down Boxes

Laney (aka The Dog Who Shits In The Playroom) has been sleeping in a crate at night. Actually...I should probably say that Laney, aka TDWSITP, has been hollering and yelping in the crate at night. As of yet there has been very little actual sleeping. I've read before that crate training is the best way to housebreak...and OS googled it must be true.

But TDWSITP absolutely, positively HATES being boxed in. Really, I can't blame her. I mean, if someone locked me inside a wire box that was barely big enough for me to turn around in, and then left me in there for 4 hours at a time expecting me not to at least piddle on myself a little bit....well....then....I feel safe in saying that I'd have some yelping of my own to do.

While I was in class today supposedly listening to final presentations on counseling diverse populations, I spent a lot of time thinking about Laney and her crate...and somehow that ended up with me thinking over all the ways that it's easy to get boxed in by life.

I think I have spent the better part of my life trapped in boxes that either others put me in, or I ignorantly climbed into on my own. For the longest time I was a Christian, but I couldn't for the life of me discern what was going on in my spirit, let alone listen to it. For a while, I was a wife...but the title really didn't matter, because for the most part I was still doing life alone. I am an employee....but I pass the hours by dreaming of doing life differently. All of this leads me to think that there must be a better way.

There seems to be a new theme developing in my life.....breaking down boxes. I've come to the realization over the last year or so that life doesn't ever turn out the way you expect it to....and planning for the future can very often lead to disappointment. But LIVING today, will never fail you. And I have spent so much time planning for the future and hoping for the best, that I haven't done much LIVING for today. However, I'm turning over a new leaf.

I've decided to change my work schedule so that I can enjoy TODAY....if I choose it.
I've decided to stop worrying about what MIGHT happen with OS so that I can enjoy TODAY....if I choose it.
I've decided to give up trying to be the Christian that everyone thinks I should be, so that I can hear God TODAY...if I choose it.
I've decided that it doesn't matter what life SHOULD look like...but what it COULD look like...if I choose it.
I've decided that being the best version of myself doesn't have to wait until I'm remarried, finished with school, thinner, smarter, or financially can happen TODAY...if I choose it.

And I'm tired of being boxed in in such a way that makes me choose something else. So I'm breaking down boxes...and choosing to do life differently. I only get one life....and I've finally REALLY realized that I can make it be whatever I expectations

and it just so happens that I want it to be I choose it.

Now that I know I actually have that option, doing anything else makes me want to curl up in my little box....holler, yelp, and piddle on myself. So much so that I almost don't want to make Laney sleep in the crate.

Almost.....but I'd rather her piddle in the crate than shit in the playroom.

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