Toddler Translations

There are many roles that I have taken on since becoming a mother. Some of these were expected and welcome as a source of newfound joy in my life. Others...well....they just come with the territory. When daydreaming of being a mother, most women visualize something along the lines of rocking their precious baby to sleep at night and cuddling in bed reading stories. This is, of course, the better part of the deal! The less appealing roles of "Wiper of all things that ooze" and "Person to throw up on" aren't usually what people envision when they are preparing for the leap into parenthood. But like I said...it's all part of the package.

My new favorite role that I never really thought much about until recently is "Translator for the Toddler." Evan has started to fling new words from his little mouth quite rapidly, a scenario that has caused a ton of laughter...and a fair amount of embarrassment on my part. Below...some of his favorite new phrases...and of course, my translations....

"Mama...Tuck Tuck Tuck Tuck!!!!!!!"
TRANSLATION: "Mama, my car is stuck under the dresser...again. Could you please get that hanger back out and help?"

"Piss, Piss Piss" (Done with wild hand gestures in the direction of the cat)
TRANSLATION: "Cat, get away from my hot dog!" (I'm still not really sure what word he's actually saying...but this is DEFINITELY what he means.)

"Daaawg" (while yanking on the door to the fridge)
TRANSLATION: "Yo Mom...how about a frankfurter?"

"Er Titty?"
TRANSLATION: "Mother, have you seen the cat?"

"Cock Cock"
TRANSLATION: "For any of you who may have been curious, this is the sound a duck makes."

Not to be confused with...

"Cock!"
TRANSLATION: "I would love to have a cup with something liquid in it. Any old liquid will do."

"Jiz!"
TRANSLATION: "Mommy, when you have a minute, I would like some cheese."

And the one that he likes to holler out wildly in the toy section at Target....

"Ooh.....be *uck!" (think "fudge" with a u-c-k on the end.)
TRANSLATION: "Mom....get a load of the size of that truck!"