Friday, October 24, 2008

Where are still waters when you need them???

I'm tired.

In the past year I have experienced more transitions and adjustments than some people experience in a decade. I have lived in 4 different places, worked in two different towns, held 3 different positions within this company, and switched banks twice.

And now...suddenly....the movement has kind of stopped. Somewhat. Transition has quickly settled into routine, and I find myself aching for the wind of change to blow in my direction again. However, routine in my life does not at all equal relaxation, and for the past couple of weeks I have been wandering around in a fog of exhaustion. Between working Monday through Friday, going to class on Saturdays, chasing my toddler around 4 nights a week, working out, trying to find a new church, and attempting to have some semblence of a social life, there hasn't been a whole lot of time to just breathe in and breathe out. And I'm REALLY TIRED.

So I'm about to blomit (blog + vomit) all of my frustrations...(If you don't want to hear me someone else's blog)
*I'm frustrated that I am the only person putting money in my bank account. There's never enough there...and now I don't have anyone else to blame it on.
*I'm frustrated that there's no one around to kill that big hairy spider that has set up residence in the cabinet where I keep my canned goods. Since he doesn't look to be going anywhere anytime soon, I have named him Sam... I'm considering charging him rent.
*I'm frustrated that my cat thinks my bathmat and my kitchen rug are ideal places to pee.
*I'm further frustrated that when I washed said bathmat and kitchen rug I severely faded one and turned the other one a hideous shade of purple that now matches absolutely nothing.
*I'm frustrated that when I put on a great dress this morning there was no one in the house tall enough to zip it up for I drove from Gallatin to White House with the dress unzipped and a stout breeze blowing down my back.
*I'm frustrated with dating. I hate dating. I would rather God send me Mr. Right and us just curl up on the couch in our pajama pants with a good movie and a mutually agreed upon flavor of Ben and Jerry's. here's what I'm thankful for.......
*I'm thankful to have a job that pays me well and regularly. Even though it never seems to be enough...somehow it always is.
*I'm thankful that my baby boy is healthy and amazing. Just having him in the room makes everything so much brighter. If I could bottle and sell his cuteness I would make an absolute fortune. But I can' I'll just soak up every ounce of him that I can.
*I'm thankful that God has blessed me with girlfriends, new and old, to go to movies, have shopping dates, eat sushi, talk about men, and laugh with. I am forever blessed by their friendship and HIS faithfulness.
*I'm thankful that I'm now going on 2 full weeks of all of my plumbing fixtures and electrical appliances working properly and not melting anything. Praise God!
*I'm thankful that God has given me direction in my life and the means to get there. School has been very rewarding so far, and I'm enjoying it more than I ever thought I would!

And finally....
I'm thankful that God knew I would get tired and knows just how to uplift me...

"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul."

In the midst of my crazy life, I am reminded that God wants to rejuvenate my spirit. He doesn't make me lie down in dry fields or lands of despair. His rest comes in a lush valley with an air of prosperity and a hope for rebirth. He doesn't lead me beside rushing waters, running tirelessly through the twists and turns of the earth. He leads me to still that in this stillness I can see the reflection of how my maker sees me...and knows me...and loves me.

It isn't in the hustle and bustle and ebb and flow of the journey that my rest will come.

Rest comes in knowing the One who brings hope for tomorrow and peace in the stillness.

I'm frustrated with how tired I get....and thankful that HE restores my soul.

1 comment:

Amy said...

Seriously, I love you!

If you could sell Evan's cuteness, you really would be a millionaire!

And if you figure out that whole dating thing, let me know...