Friday, December 19, 2008

Shoo fly

Something's bugging me like a fly that won't quit buzzing around my wet underwear in your a piece of food stuck in your teeth that you can't seem to dislodge with your finger or the end of your drinking when people say "pacifically" instead of "specifically." Something's really bugging me.

Without going into detail...because let's face's just more fun this way...I decided to be all bloggy about it. There has been some confusion introduced into my life that is extremely unwelcome. I keep reminding myself exactly who the sly author of confusion is, and really that in and of itself should be enough to clear up some of my troubles.

So this begs the question..."If I know Satan is the author of confusion, why am I having such a hard time snuffing out the factor in my life that is causing confusion in the first place?"

There are a lot of plausible answers to this question, and the easiest cop out of course is "I'm only human." There seems to be some sort of finality in that statement that makes it ok to wallow around in your stinky stinky sin for a little longer than would be considered spiritually healthy.

But the honest truth is....are you ready for this......

I just don't trust God. Sometimes it's just easier than others. It amazes me that there are areas of my life that I can toss over to Him so effortlessly like a piping hot potato....and others that I cling to with white knuckles. This particular confusion causing area....I have a death grip on.

So here it is.

Lord, I don't know what you have for me in this area. I don't know what your plan is and I don't know what your timeline is. I KNOW you know what you're doing. I KNOW your way is better than mine. I KNOW you have everything under I'm letting.....I mean....I'm giving it......what I'm trying to say Lord is I want you to......I really would love to surren.....

Satan, get behind me....and take the dang fly with you.

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