completely out of nowhere.
You have to understand...I've spent the last 18 months of my life desperately wanting to believe that Ex wasn't the greatest love story I would ever experience. I mean, really...THAT'S what I get to look back on as the "love of my life?" Are you freaking kidding me? It just seemed like such a waste! That's not to say that I didn't love Ex with my whole heart. I did! But when things ended the way they did, it just seemed like a waste of a really good story. Since the divorce, I've dated A LOT...and all of the guys were perfectly nice, and most of them were even perfectly normal. But none of them were perfectly RIGHT. There was never a time when I felt compelled to completely take myself "off the market" for fear that as soon as I did, the RIGHT GUY would come along.
So I never completely took myself "off the market."
And low and behold, the RIGHT GUY came along. I realize that's a bold statement. I realize that it's only been a week. But the truth is that it's been 20 years....and Old School is as much my FRIEND now as he was when we were 8. Except now, there's kissing involved. : )
REALLY. GOOD. KISSING
So yesterday when he asked me a question that I first heard from his lips 20 years ago under the elementary school playground slide, "Will you be my girlfriend?" there was no hesitation. There was no fear. There was no reason to cash in the moment on the logic of "it's only been a week." As we have talked about our lives and pasts over these few days, the only thing that makes sense in all of it is that God was at work in all of the brokenness to bring us to this place. Neither of us have had it easy over the past few years. Neither of us understood the why's and how's, but no sooner had we downed a cup of coffee and a green tea...it made sense.
Is it too soon to call Forever? Maybe. Is it too soon to call it for real? Not even close. For the first time since my divorce, ever part of me is IN, and there is absolutely no fear.
And damn, that's a good feeling.