Monday, February 23, 2009

The Difference

Since The Medic has entered my life, it has sent me into a tailspin of thinking through "relationship stuff." We are still very new in each other's lives, and like I said in an earlier post...I'm trying harder than ever to just let things be. I don't want to rush anything or force anything. And I don't want this to be a situation where I like the idea of the guy more than I like the actual guy.

In the past, there have been guys that I have dated that I have either had crazy hyper butterflies over even though they were a HORRIBLE guy for me to date, or I was trying to convince myself to like them because they were genuinely really wonderful guys, and I felt like I just should.

But then last night happened. Something is different this time.

The Medic was supposed to come to the house last night after his shift ended. He had been sick all week with some kind of stomach bug, and still wasn't feeling great. But he wanted to hang out and said he was feeling better...just tired. However, at the end of his shift he got violently sick again and began having chest pains. His partner hooked him up to an EKG machine and was concerned about the reading. The Medic began texting me to let me know what was going on. His partner wanted him to go to the ER, but he was nervous about it and really didn't want to go. I bombarded him with questions and eventually he just said he needed to calm down. So I told him I was praying for him and to let me know what he decided.

A little while later, he called me and we talked for a while, and I convinced him to go get checked out...just to put his mind at ease. I could tell he was really scared, and he admitted that he doesn't handle "health stuff" very well. So he headed to the ER. About 30 minutes later I get a text that said "Please pray for me. I am so scared."

And this is how I know that I like HIM...and not just the idea...

I could have said a quick prayer and went on with my evening. I could have sent a quick text and gotten back to my take home exam. I could have told him everything was going to be ok, and then went on about my business like everything really was.

But that's not what I did.

When I realized he was scared and needed prayer, I put down my take home exam, shoved my computer off my lap, and found myself on the floor,

face. down. in. the. carpet. PRAYING.

An hour later he sent me another text telling me that there was a blockage in his heart. And I found my face in the carpet again. This time, I prayed until I broke an actual sweat. I even called my parents to get them to pray. I prayed until I heard from him again two hours later.

He's going to be fine, and is following up with a cardiologist today. He was relieved to find out that there was something that needed be dealt with and that he had caught it in plenty of time. He is at peace with everything, and his heart is going to be fine.

Mine, on the other hand...

...appears to be treading in very dangerous waters.
Lord, help me.

1 comment:

Lora said...

Very dangerous waters indeed. I SO know that feeling, of trying to figure out if you like the guy or the idea of the guy. It sounds like you're on a scary but exciting track!

(as one who's been on a similar one for 6 months doesn't necessarily get less scary, but it IS pretty amazing!)