Figure. Things. Out.
I’m not talking about things like, “Why is there always a wicked pile of laundry on my bedroom floor?” The answer to that is pretty obvious, and the solution to that rarely creeps to the top of my list of priorities. I’m talking about relationship things. I’m pretty content with everything else to “let go and let God.” I don’t worry about finances. I usually don’t let the little things get to me…anymore…and I pretty much trust that things in general will work out the way they are supposed to.
But bring a guy into the picture and I am a blubbering mess of anxiety and “what ifs.”
Enter the new boy…AKA…The Medic.
The Medic is someone who I have apparently always had many mutual connections with, but have never really had any contact with before. In fact, in Kindergarten, his best friend was my “boyfriend.” Now, through the bountiful wonders of the world wide web, we have connected and become instantly interested in spending inordinate amounts of time hanging out in the backs of movie theaters and texting until all different flavors of late. (This is harder on me than it is on him considering he’s up in the middle of the night being a reliable first responder in the face of emergency. I, on the other hand, am sacrificing some serious beauty sleep!)
My problem is that as soon as I experience those tummy twitching butterflies, I am anxious about the “what ifs”…and fearful that everything will end. So I’m putting it out there for everyone to witness….
I, Queen of the Grace Gets Greater Blogdom, vow to
JUST. ENJOY. THE. FREAKING. MOMENT.
I WILL NOT worry about the “what ifs.” I WILL NOT be afraid of what I can’t see or plan. I WILL NOT be “that girl” who makes it something that it’s not. I WILL NOT rush into something that I’m not ready for only to end up breaking someone’s heart...again. This time, I vow to simply
LET. IT. BE.***
***I realize that the very essence of “letting something be” means that it probably shouldn’t require a lengthy pep talk disguised as a blog to get me through it. What can I say? I’m a walking contradiction.***
Let the being begin. On your mark, get set……