Dear Man Who Exposed Himself to Me at the Corner of Main and Locust.....
I realize your goal in doing so was to get some attention. I think you succeeded, though probably not as you had originally intended.
It's very cold outside....shrinkage is not your friend. I was not impressed. Maybe we could try this routine again when it's not snowing.
Until then, I will reserve judgement. Happy Tuesday!
That Girl who Laughed at You This Morning