Friday, March 13, 2009

Direction

Satan is having an "All Hands On Deck, The Battle Is On" kind of party with my faith. I think, this week, he must have sent invitations to all his stinky little minions ordering them to attack in full force, and at the bottom was "Bring Your Own Bomb."

I think this, because my last blog was about trusting God to do something better with my life than I could do on my own. I haven't made it a secret that work has been pretty stressful lately. In fact, it has been a source of crushing weight on my spirit for months now. I'm not alone in this boat. Many of my coworkers are experiencing these same frustrations with the situation that we find ourselves in 8 hours a day. I have spent a lot of time in prayer about this, and am listening intently for God's voice somewhere in the din. And this week, rather unexpectedly, there was forward motion. However, the next day, Satan and his demons saw an opportunity to attempt to keep me from relishing in any kind of confidence that I might have had.

On Wednesday, apparently too confident for Satan to have any kind of comfort, I came into work and received a brand spanking new, and significantly large, asshole. I hung up the phone, the vessel chosen by the voice of Satan to rip the new asshole, and sat in shock for a moment in what can only be described as a "well...what am I going to do with two assholes?" kind of fog. I took a late lunch that day, and between the hours of 2 and 3PM sat on my couch writing my previous blog about trusting God. It was honestly the only thing I felt I had left. When I hit the "publish" button, I again felt at peace. THEN...upon my return to work, the voice of Satan was now physically standing in my office waiting to drop another bomb on me. Numbers have been down in our office for a while, and a couple of people have been called on to answer for this downturn.

I, for one, think that since numbers are down in the entire company across the country, that it should be pretty obvious that the economy has had a slight impact on sales. But I get to be one of the lucky ones held responsible, and therefore my job is at stake. Not only am I and another co worker taking heat for things that feel largely out of our control, but I realized through this day of asshole ripping and "you really suck" conversations that one of my co-workers, who is also one of my best friends, is someone that I can't trust. So I have realized the end of a friendship as well.

This week has been HARD. Just when I found myself moving in a positive direction, it seems that a large amount of crap has converged at my feet.


And I think it's Satan.
I honestly believe that God is getting ready to take my life in a different direction. I made myself open to His possibilities. I am listening for His voice. I am pliable to His will. And I trust Him to have it under control.
And I think Satan is nervous.
I believe that God will do great things in my life. I believe that He will provide for my needs. I believe that He knows what He's doing. And I will not be convinced of the contrary.
And I think Satan is scared.
I KNOW THAT MY GOD IS MIGHTY. HE IS POWERFUL, AND HIS PLAN IS PERFECT. I WILL LISTEN INTENTLY FOR HIS VOICE, AND I WILL MOVE AT HIS DIRECTION. I WILL REJOICE IN HIS WAYS.
And I think Satan is POWERLESS.
"Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men."Matthew 16:22-24

5 comments:

Amy said...

I love you and am definitely praying!

Jaycee said...

You go girl!

Lora said...

Prayers going up...

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

I love your blog. So glad I ran across it in my blog reading.

I am new to the blog world and have so much to learn.

When you have some time, stop by for a visit!

Teresa

The White Family said...

I love you! And I'm praying for you! And even though I know you are having a hard time, I have to tell you that I literally laughed out loud when I imagined you thinking, "What am I going to do with two assholes?"