Monday, April 27, 2009

Dear Moment Monday

Dear Moment,
I still hate you a little bit.

I mean, really...I know I do a lot of embarrassing things. I make it pretty easy to poke fun...but in all honesty, you could have let that one go by. You could have NOT humiliated me in front of everyone I've ever met in my entire life. You could have NOT made my most embarrassing moment EVER happen in front of half of the people in my senior class. could have just blown by. Quietly. Almost, dare I suggest, UNNOTICED. It would have been the decent thing to do.

But had to take full advantage of the opportunity that I handed you. Shame on you. SHAME. ON. YOU.

It wasn't like I had a choice. She made me do it. And how are you supposed to say "no" to the sweetest most arthritic old lady you ever met? How? You can't. Hence, the embarrassment. I even tried to back out at the last minute. But she told me I was ready. She told me it would be fine. She told me it would "bless her little heart" if I went through with it. What was I supposed to do? What else IS there to do?

Absolutely Freakin' Nothing.

So I sat front of half the people I think I've ever met in my entire life....20 other members of my senior class looking on....tears running down my face....embarrassment creeping up my neck disguised as ugly red blotchiness...

And everything I had learned...everything I had practiced...everything I had in me that would "bless her little heart"....

must have stayed out in the parking lot.

But, as the onlookers would try to comfort me with later, at least I kept going. At least I didn't give up. At least I didn't let it get the best of me. And in the final moments of my encounter with utter embarrassment, I poised my hands in the position that I knew they were supposed to end in, plucked an A, the only distinguishable note during this entire episode, and as always made a graceful exit from

the piano recital from hell.
Dear Moment, just so we're clear....sometimes you don't have to be so good at your job of "imprinting so as not to be forgotten." Every now and then it's ok for you to be a linger only as a "yeah, I vaguely remember this one time....but it's sort of fuzzy" kind of recollection. Sometimes....just every now and's ok not to share.
(Which, ironically enough, is what all of the recital attendees were saying after I finished playing that night.)


HappyascanB said...

You are such an incredibly talented writer! And I'm so sorry for your moment of embarrassment. My embarrassing moment is also from my senior year of high school but I don't think it was as intensely humiliating as yours. I'm sure you played better than you remember playing!

GraceGetsGreater said...

Oh B...if only that were true.

I'm telling you, it was completely undistinguishable as music! It's actually illegal for me to touch a piano in 3 different states. : )

Thanks for the compliment on the writing though...THAT, I plan to stick with!

carma said...

This is great post. And I can definitely relate to the red blotchiness as that's how I always get when I am embarrassed. It's hard to hide. I feel for ya!
Welcome to SITS :-) We're glad to have you on board!

sandy said...

You are far more brave than I!

Welcome to SITS!

The Rambler said...

Great and well written!!

Stopping by from SITS as part of the welcome wagon.

Noah's Mommy said...

oh lord...I was wondering the whole time...what could this horribly embarrassing moment be?'m sorry...I so feel your pain...Welcome to SITS happy you are here...

Lisa M said...

illegal for you to touch a piano in 3 different states... lol you are too funny! Loved the Dear Monday Moment idea :)

Just stopped by to welcome you to the SITStahood!

greedygrace said...

LOL! But where's the video of this remarkable piano recital? We need to share that moment with you!

I came by to welcome you to SITS! We're happy to have you with us!

Anonymous said...

I have experience giving the violin recital from hell. It was awful. I am not meant to be a performer.

Welcome to SITS!

Joy said...

Argh, I had a few embarrassing moments a la yours.

Welcome to the SITS group, it's great to have you as a SITSta!

AP said...

you are an awesome writer!!
those moments are horrible
stopping in to welcome you to SITS

Rachael said...

wow, this is really an incredible + unique reflection of a memory. so wonderful!

{i am stopping by from SITS to say hi}

Rhea said...

Oh, wow, I'm so sorry. Sounds like a moment to be banished into the farthest, tiny, little mouse hole in the back of your brain...and everyone elses?! hehe

I'm here with the SITS Welcome Wagon! I've been a member from the beginning, and it's such a wonderful community of women. I've met so many amazing bloggers and read so many fun blogs. Welcome aboard, SITSta!

Brandy said...

Oh no! It sounds awful. If you weren't ready she shouldn't have pushed you.

Welcome to SITS!