Friday, April 17, 2009

Fatty Friday Volume 2

Ok ladies...and Dad...the moment you've all been waiting for. Get your "laughing at me" pointer finger ready and swallow that drink of morning OJ, lest you see what I'm about to post and spit it through your nose in horror.

I weigh 155 pounds.
There....ripping off that band aid wasn't nearly as bad as I expected it to be! I really am a freak....how many 28 year old single women honestly go around blabbing their weight on the internet for all the world to see??? To date, I think I'm the only one I know of. Woo Hoo.....I'm a trend setter! (Ok, maybe not. I think the very definition of trendsetter is someone who does something that everyone else then gets all excited about doing. I doubt many of you will hop on this particular trendsetting train. Oh well....can't blame a girl for trying.)
I don't really have a firm goal weight in mind. I've always weighed kind of heavy, and God just did not design me to be skinny. And honestly, whenever I get to whatever weight I end up at...I want to eat a freaking brownie without feeling guilty about it. So my goal isn't to be super skinny or to "weigh what I did in high school." The amount of work required to keep that up just isn't lurking anywhere in the midst of this particular 155 pounds. True story.
My goal is to feel 100% sexy and confident in my own skin. I'm about 85% there right now....which is about an 85% increase over where I was just a year ago.....get a load of THAT progress! I know for a fact that I'm super svelte at 140 pounds...so I guess that's a personal goal. But I haven't weighed that post baby....so I don't know if it's an easily maintainable weight for me. All that rambling to say....I don't really have a goal weight....just a "goal percentage of personal confidence. "
Why did you feel compelled to broadcast to the world the one number that every woman guards with her life and lies about at any given opportunity? Why you ask?
Well...here's the deal. I'm traveling on my own little journey towards personal freedom. It is a process that for me, started with divorce, and will end somewhere that currently only God knows about. On this journey, I'm determined to be released from the shackles of the past that bind me. One of those particular shackles happens to be how I look and "Oh God, what do other people think of me?" For oh so long, what other people thought of me...how other people saw me....it all just felt like THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD.
Over the last 18 months I've been in a continuous process of "becoming someone I actually like," and I'm happy to say that not only do I like the person that I've become....I actually love her.
All 155 pounds of her to be exact.
I know so many women who are caught up on the number on the scale. Some of them even treat the obsession as a religious experience. I'm bound and determined that the number on the scale will no longer be a direct reflection of how I see myself. Does it matter how I look? Not really. As long as I feel 100% confident in who I am, and I'm able to love the woman that God has created me to be, then everything else is really JUST A NUMBER. It's the freedom in knowing THAT that allows me to share exactly how much I weigh. Do I want to lose some weight? Sure! But the end goal isn't really a number....it's just the knowledge that I am venturing down a path towards TOTAL confidence and acceptance of this woman who stares back at me from the mirror. It's not necessarily easy to share my weight with the ends of the internet...it's not all that easy to know that some of you may chatter about it....but that's your deal....
155 pounds is so much lighter than the weight of the world.
HAPPY FATTY FRIDAY!

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I was having a really hard, hurting day and this blog REALLY helped. Thanks. Ba

robyn said...

good for you... i am participating in my own little experiment... it's more like "fatty life" for me... but hitting the gym at least 3 times a week is a MUST... and i absolutely will not step on a scale because i'm determined not to let a number weigh me down (no pun intended... seriously)... i don't have as much willpower as you to not let it affect me... but i admire your quest for freedom!! (btw, i'm friends with amy and i read your blog all the time... i love it!)

klynch said...

oo to be that number how about 190
yup that's me!!

Lora said...

you GO girl.

Here's another single 28 year old posting (in a reply at least) her weight...

160.

That's the highest I've ever weighed in my life, and I don't intend for it to last long...but I've embraced all 160 pounds too. I'd just like to whittle a few of those pounds off so I don't have to buy ALL new clothes ;-)

Yup. I'm headed out for a run RIGHT now, actually. My facebook status says "tan...er, run".

Must.get.together.soon!

(coming back to add that my word verification is lumpert. I find that funny)

GraceGetsGreater said...

Ba...Love you!

Robyn, way to go for 3 times a week! You are my hero!

Klynch...welcome! Way to own who you are! You are awesome...and your kiddos are PRECIOUS!

Lora...what the heck is our problem? Why have we not gone hiking??? Let's get our poundage in gear...let me know what the best day is for you!

Just Playing Pretend said...

I'd give up my first born child to be 155. Okay not first born but at least my second born. ;)

Lucy said...

Hiya! Thamks for your comment on my blog...I have to admit I didn't have the foggiest myself as to creating a blog button, but I picked a little bit up from what Mrs M did for mine. Basically you create a button - a picture, really, or simply a background with your blog title on top. It's a small image -e.g. mine is 180x180pixels, to fit in my sidebar. Then you upload it to a web image hosting service e.g. photobucket, which will give you the direct link. The code for it all can be found on lots of blogging help blogs - but if you did want to try I could email it to you!

I don't know if there are any tips from the person who designed your blog, as often it's good for it to match the design.

Thanks so much for stopping by!

HappyascanB said...

GO Girl! You are awesome!

Molly said...

I'm just catching up on reading, but I had to say I think this is awesome! I love the idea of being comfortable in your skin and yes, i realize I called it an idea because so many women fret all the time, including me. So kudos to you! Keep up the good work!