I weigh 155 pounds.
There....ripping off that band aid wasn't nearly as bad as I expected it to be! I really am a freak....how many 28 year old single women honestly go around blabbing their weight on the internet for all the world to see??? To date, I think I'm the only one I know of. Woo Hoo.....I'm a trend setter! (Ok, maybe not. I think the very definition of trendsetter is someone who does something that everyone else then gets all excited about doing. I doubt many of you will hop on this particular trendsetting train. Oh well....can't blame a girl for trying.)
I don't really have a firm goal weight in mind. I've always weighed kind of heavy, and God just did not design me to be skinny. And honestly, whenever I get to whatever weight I end up at...I want to eat a freaking brownie without feeling guilty about it. So my goal isn't to be super skinny or to "weigh what I did in high school." The amount of work required to keep that up just isn't lurking anywhere in the midst of this particular 155 pounds. True story.
My goal is to feel 100% sexy and confident in my own skin. I'm about 85% there right now....which is about an 85% increase over where I was just a year ago.....get a load of THAT progress! I know for a fact that I'm super svelte at 140 pounds...so I guess that's a personal goal. But I haven't weighed that post baby....so I don't know if it's an easily maintainable weight for me. All that rambling to say....I don't really have a goal weight....just a "goal percentage of personal confidence. "
Why did you feel compelled to broadcast to the world the one number that every woman guards with her life and lies about at any given opportunity? Why you ask?
Well...here's the deal. I'm traveling on my own little journey towards personal freedom. It is a process that for me, started with divorce, and will end somewhere that currently only God knows about. On this journey, I'm determined to be released from the shackles of the past that bind me. One of those particular shackles happens to be how I look and "Oh God, what do other people think of me?" For oh so long, what other people thought of me...how other people saw me....it all just felt like THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD.
Over the last 18 months I've been in a continuous process of "becoming someone I actually like," and I'm happy to say that not only do I like the person that I've become....I actually love her.
All 155 pounds of her to be exact.
I know so many women who are caught up on the number on the scale. Some of them even treat the obsession as a religious experience. I'm bound and determined that the number on the scale will no longer be a direct reflection of how I see myself. Does it matter how I look? Not really. As long as I feel 100% confident in who I am, and I'm able to love the woman that God has created me to be, then everything else is really JUST A NUMBER. It's the freedom in knowing THAT that allows me to share exactly how much I weigh. Do I want to lose some weight? Sure! But the end goal isn't really a number....it's just the knowledge that I am venturing down a path towards TOTAL confidence and acceptance of this woman who stares back at me from the mirror. It's not necessarily easy to share my weight with the ends of the internet...it's not all that easy to know that some of you may chatter about it....but that's your deal....
155 pounds is so much lighter than the weight of the world.
HAPPY FATTY FRIDAY!